tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Randomize