I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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