I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
