You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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