is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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