I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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