I've ID'd the nipple biter.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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