No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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