I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
