nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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