remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
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