I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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