If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I have fence marks all over my body
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
