I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
