either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
