dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
where are you?
Hypothermia
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
