She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Randomize