I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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