omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
We got so high we made milksteak
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
