I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
His hands were made for my vagina.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Randomize
