You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
