I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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