I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
We got so high we made milksteak
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
