I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize