we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
