imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
