Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
