i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
This is classic penis vs brain.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
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