So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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