I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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