Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Randomize