So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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