if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
