stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
