we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
