considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Randomize
