dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
How does it feel to date your dad?
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