It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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