I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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