Just cropdusted the office
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
