I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Still dying that you shit outside
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
