I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
