She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
