So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
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