Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
