i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Randomize
