first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
How external is "for external use only"?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
