What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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