do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
