We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
