I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Can Purell be used as lube?
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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