i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Randomize
