Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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