i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
