i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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