My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
