My nipple is on Facebook.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
