So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Last time i carry you out of a forest
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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