I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
